Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
should my penis look like a turkey
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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