Im at strip club and am horny
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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