I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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