Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
