All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
