we have officially lost it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
