Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...