He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?