is wine microwaveable?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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