I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
