she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
