planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
