take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
