There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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