So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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