I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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