So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
