i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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