P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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