White coat. Heels.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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