In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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