turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
