kristin has been a bad kristin
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
COCAINE IS GR8
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
