Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
