How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
