she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
