Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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