she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
