Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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