Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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