I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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