your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
