Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize