you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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