I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
