If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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