I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
