Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
