Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
