I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
