Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you traded sex for a burrito?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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