my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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