I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
