Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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