Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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