in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
