I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
