she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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