haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
