and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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