There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
