You kept calling me your small dog last night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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