Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
