It's like God shit irony all over that family
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
