Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
