Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
