just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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