Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
