Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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