youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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