you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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