I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
