The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
